“The Answer is Always in The Material”
Just last week I was delivering a Growth Mindset workshop with a colleague, Steve Ellis. As often happens we were posed with a tricky question from a participant, being reasonably green in the world of delivery I was thankful to have a more “seasoned” professional by my (virtual) side who handles the question in what was nothing short of a sublime fashion, being respectful enough as not to offend but considered and direct enough to quash the question and put all responsibility to take action back on to the participant; I was so impressed by the display I even started grinning (hopefully no-one noticed!). After the session we ran through our usual feedback and debrief and I asked “how did you do that?”, his response was simple – “the answer is always in the material”.
This got me thinking, for those of you who know me, earlier this year I found myself in a spot of bother – I was in a critical condition with a double dose of heart and kidney failure – throughout my adult life I have said “make mine a double” on many occasions, however it looked like on this occasion that I had bitten off more than I could chew! Be careful what you wish for is probably the moral of this story. Anyway, several weeks of laying in a hospital bed really got me thinking, before starting at Arcadia I was a “passive” believer in the sentiment that mindset matters. Having previously worked as Personal Trainer and Recruiter I often would espouse the virtues of mindset without really knowing why – it just sounded good and was certainly fashionable and was an in-vogue thing to say.
So I set myself a challenge, now faced with a life or death situation “let’s see if this mindset stuff really works or is it just a load of fanciful guff”. Some of you may have seen the Arcadia Mindset Mondays series on Instagram where we are currently working our way through 10 winning behaviours, so as I sat in my hospital bed, instead of thinking about dialysis and kidney transplants I focused my attention to working my way through the 10 winning behaviours to see if I could employ any strategies that would assist me in my struggle, my breakthrough was astonishing.
Without wanting to turn this into a written workshop, three things really stood out to me;
Create a Winning Identity (as opposed to a dying one)
I really had to dig deep here to think about what I want to be know for, both personally and professionally and the label of “sick” wasn’t going to do (unless of course made in reference to my “sick” guitar playing”) – I had to consciously create an identity that would get me through this “I am strong and resilient”, “I can get through this”, “I will take better care of my body”. Everyday I repeated these positive affirmations until they became hard wired.
What could be good about this?
Well in the moment of diagnosis, seemingly nothing. But after the initial shock I purposefully tried to seek out the hidden opportunity behind this problem. I was surprisingly pleased with my findings;
- I am young enough that I can own this problem and still influence the outcome
- I now value my health and will respect my body
- This will force me to live a healthy lifestyle
- If this didn’t happen now, would I have survived it in 5 years time?
- I have a new found appreciation for pretty much everything
- I am so over ‘sweating the small stuff’
- I have been given a second chance at life – I am blessed…
The list goes on, I may even go as far to say this was potentially the best thing that could have happened to me at the time, certainly the most profound.
Living on "the slight edge"
Playing in a rock and roll band has always taught me to enjoy life on the edge, but how much on the edge I was living, I had become oblivious to. Only when looking back can I see that the small decisions I made every day took me slowly but surely to the cliff edge, then I fell, and boy was it painful! I now have focus and take enjoyment in making every decision count and thinking long term about the sum of everyday. Each day counts, more than I could ever have imagined.
The list could go on and on, but I have a word limit so hopefully that’s enough for today. So back to the beginning, when considering “the answer is always in the material”, I guess we will never truly know the extent of it’s affect, but for me, it is my belief, “that the material that saved my life”.